written Friday, January 16, 2009
Item: A US Airways A-320 airliner ditches in the Hudson River on Thursday after being struck by birds on take off from New York’s LaGuardia Airport. Due to the skill of the pilots and quick response from those on the ground everyone survived.
A later report stated that the plane flew through a flock of Canada Geese.
Alright, that’s it! This is the last straw! We were lucky this time… that may not be the case next time. If, in fact, it turns out these were Canada Geese let me be the first to call for prompt action against Canada — our seemingly friendly neighbor to the North. The people and the government of Canada have a long history of harboring these big birds… these terrorist turkeys… these weapons of mass defecation, and sending them on annual missions of destruction into the continental United States. This latest attack is a ratcheting-up of tactics with the introduction of “guided geese” — homing honkers willing to die for the cause. In the interest of harmonious international relations we’ve looked the other way and held our collective noses far too long while our parks are pooped and our shorelines are sullied — and now our airliners are being taken out of the skies. It’s become clear to me that Canada is engaged in a unilateral biological war against the U.S.A. that won’t stop until we take decisive action to protect the safety and security of our population. The solution is nothing short of invasion, taking control of this terrorist-fowl harboring state, and forcing a regime change as soon as possible. The world will be a much better place when we’re through.
Write your congressman and senators. Let’s not shrink from our responsibility to help keep America safe and clean.